I was later told that Patrick Sonnier had the hardest time adapting and forgetting what had happened. One of the trusties had told me, “He just wouldn’t eat or sleep much around here. The memories completely took over his thinking process.” It came to my attention that even after he had been arrested, he tried to commit suicide. I was guessing that it was to take himself out of his misery.
Although he seemed sincere, I couldn’t tell if I should allow that to take over. The picture kept flashing in my mind as if I were actually there. I could see the poor couple kneeling on the ground praying for their mercy. Although he did not actually do the shooting, he acted as an accomplice. This had happened before as well. This wasn’t his first offence.
The hardest part is listening to his side of the story. He repeated to me, “I didn’t touch her. I did not rape Loretta.”
Pat told me about him and Eddie’s plan. They figured out a way that they could hopefully stay out of trouble. They both planned to say the other one did the murder, so the real murderer was never found out. He had seen the gun while being arrested and was afraid of the police. In Eddie’s confession, he said that he had committed the murder so the kids could not identify him. He didn’t want to go back to Angola. He had done well last time he was there, but he just didn’t want to go back again.
He said he was arrested in 1977. The death penalty had just been reinstated. He said that if he had known he could have gotten the chair, he never would have confessed. Patrick Sonnier really has me tied up. He is innocent of murder, yet he confessed to it.
Patrick speaks quickly, never looking up for any of my reactions. His words just seem to flow right out of his mouth. He doesn’t try to keep repeating that he is innocent. He told me once and that was it. I thought a man on death row would be much more timid and trying to prove his innocence. He has no hatred towards his brother which also surprised me as well since he actually committed the murder that Pat is paying for. About a week before his execution, Pat will have to face the Warden and ask for permission to see his brother before he dies. I cannot imagine being in this situation. I am stunned at this point.
As I was talking to Pat, all I could hear in my mind were the words that the chaplain had said to me. He said, “These people are the scum of the earth, and they’ll try to con you.” Although I was aware of that statement, something about Patrick Sonnier brings me closer and closer to him.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
"Dead Man Walking" soundtrack lyrics
1.) "Seventy Times 7" Brand New
Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know,like how to deal with despair, or someone breaking your heart.For twelve years I've held it all together but a night like this is begging to pull me apart.I played it quiet, left you deep in conversation.I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen.I remember I kept thinking that I know you never would,and now I know I want to kill you like only a best friend could.Everyone's caught on to everything you doEveryone's caught on to.As if this happening wasn't enough I got to goand write a song just to remind myself how bad it sucked.Ignore the sun, the cover's over my head.I wrote a message on my pillow that says, "Jesse, stay asleep in bed."So don't apologize. I hope you choke and die.Search your cell for something with which to hang yourself.They say you need to pray if you want to go to heavenbut they don't tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell.Everyone's caught on to everything you doEveryone's caught on toAnd everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again.)Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)So, is that what you call a getaway?Tell me what you got away with.Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.Have another drink and drive yourself home.I hope there's ice on all the roads.And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,and again when your head goes through the windshield.And is that what you call tact?You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.So let's end this call, and end this conversation.and is that what you call a getaway?well tell me what you got away with.cause you left the frays from the ties you severed when you say best friends means friends foreverSo, is that what you call a getaway?Well tell me what you got away with.Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.Have another drink and drive yourself home.I hope there's ice on all the roads.And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,and again when your head goes through the windshield.Everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again)Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)And everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again)Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)
2.) "Look After You" The Fray
If I don't say this now I will surely breakAs I'm leaving the one I want to takeForgive the urgency but hurry up and waitMy heart has started to separateOh, oh, ohBe my babyOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohI'll look after youThere now, steady love, so few come and don't goWill you won't you, be the one I always knowWhen I'm losing my control, the city spins aroundYou're the only one who knows, you slow it downOh, oh, ohBe my babyOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohI'll look after youIf ever there was a doubtMy love she leans into meThis most assuredly countsShe says most assuredlyOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohBe my babyI'll look after youIt's always have and never holdYou've begun to feel like homeWhat's mine is yours to leave or takeWhat's mine is yours to make your ownOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohBe my babyOh, oh, oh
3.) “Hold On” Good Charlotte
This worldThis world is coldBut you don'tYou don't have to goYou're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to careYour mother's gone and your father hits youThis pain you cannot bearBut we all bleed the same way as you doAnd we all have the same things to go throughHold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowYour daysYou say they're way too longAnd your nightsYou can't sleep at allHold onAnd you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to know moreAnd you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to know moreBut we all bleed the same way as you doAnd we all have the same things to go throughHold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowDon't stop looking, you're one step closerDon't stop searching, it's not overHold onWhat are you looking for?What are you waiting for?Do you know what you're doing to me?Go ahead...What are you waiting for?Hold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowDon't stop looking, you're one step closerDon't stop searching, it's not overHold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowHold on
4.) "Slipped Away" Avril Lavigne
Na na, na na na, na naI miss you, miss you so badI don't forget you, oh it's so sadI hope you can hear meI remember it clearlyThe day you slipped awayWas the day I found it won't be the sameOooohNa na na na na na naI didn't get around to kiss youGoodbye on the handI wish that I could see you againI know that I can'tOoooohI hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearlyThe day you slipped awayWas the day I found it won't be the sameOooohI had my wake upWon't you wake upI keep asking whyAnd I can't take itIt wasn't fakeIt happened, you passed byNow you are gone, now you are goneThere you go, there you goSomewhere I can't bring you backNow you are gone, now you are goneThere you go, there you go,Somewhere your not coming backThe day you slipped awayWas the day i found it won't be the same noo..The day you slipped awayWas the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...Na na, na na na, na naI miss you
5.) "In The End" Linkin Park
(It starts with)One thing / I don’t know whyIt doesn’t even matter how hard you tryKeep that in mind / I designed this rhymeTo explain in due timeAll I knowtime is a valuable thingWatch it fly by as the pendulum swingsWatch it count down to the end of the dayThe clock ticks life awayIt’s so unrealDidn’t look out belowWatch the time go right out the windowTrying to hold on / but didn’t even knowWasted it all just toWatch you goI kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apartWhat it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hardAnd got so farBut in the endIt doesn't even matterI had to fallTo lose it allBut in the endIt doesn't even matterOne thing / I don’t know whyIt doesn’t even matter how hard you tryKeep that in mind / I designed this rhymeTo remind myself howI tried so hardIn spite of the way you were mocking meActing like I was part of your propertyRemembering all the times you fought with meI’m surprised it got so (far)Things aren’t the way they were beforeYou wouldn’t even recognize me anymoreNot that you knew me back thenBut it all comes back to meIn the endYou kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apartWhat it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hardAnd got so farBut in the endIt doesn’t even matterI had to fallTo lose it allBut in the endIt doesn’t even matterI've put my trust in youPushed as far as I can goFor all thisThere’s only one thing you should knowI've put my trust in youPushed as far as I can goFor all thisThere’s only one thing you should knowI tried so hardAnd got so farBut in the endIt doesn’t even matterI had to fallTo lose it allBut in the endIt doesn’t even matter
6.) "How To Save A Life" The Fray
Step one you say we need to talkHe walks you say sit down it's just a talkHe smiles politely back at youYou stare politely right on throughSome sort of window to your rightAs he goes left and you stay rightBetween the lines of fear and blameAnd you begin to wonder why you cameWhere did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeLet him know that you know bestCause after all you do know bestTry to slip past his defenseWithout granting innocenceLay down a list of what is wrongThe things you've told him all alongAnd pray to God he hears youAnd pray to God he hears youWhere did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeAs he begins to raise his voiceYou lower yours and grant him one last choiceDrive until you lose the roadOr break with the ones you've followedHe will do one of two thingsHe will admit to everythingOr he'll say he's just not the sameAnd you'll begin to wonder why you cameWhere did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeHow to save a lifeHow to save a life
7.) "What I've Done" Linkin Park
In this farewellThere’s no bloodThere’s no alibi‘Cause I’ve drawn regretFrom the truthOf a thousand lies[Pre-Chorus:]So let mercy comeAnd wash awayWhat I’ve done[Chorus:]I'll face myselfTo cross out what i’ve becomeErase myselfAnd let go of what i’ve donePut to restWhat you thought of meWhile I clean this slateWith the hands of uncertainty[Pre-Chorus][Chorus]For what I’ve doneI start againAnd whatever pain may comeToday this endsI’m forgiving what I’ve done!!![Chorus]What I’ve doneForgiving what I’ve done
8.) “I Will Remember You” Sarah McLachlin
I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesRemember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got badHow clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sunWanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the oneI will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesI’m so tired but I can’t sleepStandin’ on the edge of something much too deepIt’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a wordWe are screaming inside, but we can’t be heardBut I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesI’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to looseClinging to a past that doesn’t let me chooseOnce there was a darkness, deep and endless nightYou gave me everything you had, oh you gave me lightAnd I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesAnd I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesWeep not for the memories
9.) "Watch The Sky" Something Corporate
I'm lost at sea, The radio is jamming but they wont find me,I swear its for the best And then your frequency is pulling me in closerTil I'm home.And I've been up for daysI finally lost my mind And then I lost my way.I'm blistered but I'm better and I'm home.And I will crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.But I won't let this get me I will fight.You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky.This room's too small, it's only getting smallerI'm against the wall, I'm slowly getting taller here in Wonderland. This guilt feels so familiar and I'm home.And I will crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.But I won't let this get me I will fight.You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky,Somedays all I do is watch the sky.I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day.I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day.It's a deep sea on which I'm floating. Still I sink to think that i must...Crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.When you can't bear to carry me I'll fight.You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky,Today was a good day, today was a good day.
10.) "Waiting On The World To Change" John Mayer
Me and all my friends We're all misunderstood They say we stand for nothing and There's no way we ever could Now we see everything that's going wrong With the world and those who lead it We just feel like we don't have the means To rise above and beat it So we keep waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change It's hard to beat the system When we're standing at a distance So we keep waiting Waiting on the world to change Now if we had the power To bring our neighbors home from war They would have never missed a Christmas No more ribbons on their door And when you trust your television What you get is what you got Cause when they own the information, oh They can bend it all they want That's why we're waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change It's not that we don't care, We just know that the fight ain't fair So we keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change And we're still waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change One day our generation Is gonna rule the population So we keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change
Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know,like how to deal with despair, or someone breaking your heart.For twelve years I've held it all together but a night like this is begging to pull me apart.I played it quiet, left you deep in conversation.I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen.I remember I kept thinking that I know you never would,and now I know I want to kill you like only a best friend could.Everyone's caught on to everything you doEveryone's caught on to.As if this happening wasn't enough I got to goand write a song just to remind myself how bad it sucked.Ignore the sun, the cover's over my head.I wrote a message on my pillow that says, "Jesse, stay asleep in bed."So don't apologize. I hope you choke and die.Search your cell for something with which to hang yourself.They say you need to pray if you want to go to heavenbut they don't tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell.Everyone's caught on to everything you doEveryone's caught on toAnd everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again.)Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)So, is that what you call a getaway?Tell me what you got away with.Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.Have another drink and drive yourself home.I hope there's ice on all the roads.And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,and again when your head goes through the windshield.And is that what you call tact?You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.So let's end this call, and end this conversation.and is that what you call a getaway?well tell me what you got away with.cause you left the frays from the ties you severed when you say best friends means friends foreverSo, is that what you call a getaway?Well tell me what you got away with.Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.Have another drink and drive yourself home.I hope there's ice on all the roads.And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,and again when your head goes through the windshield.Everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again)Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)And everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again)Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)
2.) "Look After You" The Fray
If I don't say this now I will surely breakAs I'm leaving the one I want to takeForgive the urgency but hurry up and waitMy heart has started to separateOh, oh, ohBe my babyOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohI'll look after youThere now, steady love, so few come and don't goWill you won't you, be the one I always knowWhen I'm losing my control, the city spins aroundYou're the only one who knows, you slow it downOh, oh, ohBe my babyOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohI'll look after youIf ever there was a doubtMy love she leans into meThis most assuredly countsShe says most assuredlyOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohBe my babyI'll look after youIt's always have and never holdYou've begun to feel like homeWhat's mine is yours to leave or takeWhat's mine is yours to make your ownOh, oh, ohOh, oh, ohBe my babyOh, oh, oh
3.) “Hold On” Good Charlotte
This worldThis world is coldBut you don'tYou don't have to goYou're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to careYour mother's gone and your father hits youThis pain you cannot bearBut we all bleed the same way as you doAnd we all have the same things to go throughHold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowYour daysYou say they're way too longAnd your nightsYou can't sleep at allHold onAnd you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to know moreAnd you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to know moreBut we all bleed the same way as you doAnd we all have the same things to go throughHold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowDon't stop looking, you're one step closerDon't stop searching, it's not overHold onWhat are you looking for?What are you waiting for?Do you know what you're doing to me?Go ahead...What are you waiting for?Hold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowDon't stop looking, you're one step closerDon't stop searching, it's not overHold on if you feel like letting goHold on it gets better than you knowHold on
4.) "Slipped Away" Avril Lavigne
Na na, na na na, na naI miss you, miss you so badI don't forget you, oh it's so sadI hope you can hear meI remember it clearlyThe day you slipped awayWas the day I found it won't be the sameOooohNa na na na na na naI didn't get around to kiss youGoodbye on the handI wish that I could see you againI know that I can'tOoooohI hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearlyThe day you slipped awayWas the day I found it won't be the sameOooohI had my wake upWon't you wake upI keep asking whyAnd I can't take itIt wasn't fakeIt happened, you passed byNow you are gone, now you are goneThere you go, there you goSomewhere I can't bring you backNow you are gone, now you are goneThere you go, there you go,Somewhere your not coming backThe day you slipped awayWas the day i found it won't be the same noo..The day you slipped awayWas the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...Na na, na na na, na naI miss you
5.) "In The End" Linkin Park
(It starts with)One thing / I don’t know whyIt doesn’t even matter how hard you tryKeep that in mind / I designed this rhymeTo explain in due timeAll I knowtime is a valuable thingWatch it fly by as the pendulum swingsWatch it count down to the end of the dayThe clock ticks life awayIt’s so unrealDidn’t look out belowWatch the time go right out the windowTrying to hold on / but didn’t even knowWasted it all just toWatch you goI kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apartWhat it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hardAnd got so farBut in the endIt doesn't even matterI had to fallTo lose it allBut in the endIt doesn't even matterOne thing / I don’t know whyIt doesn’t even matter how hard you tryKeep that in mind / I designed this rhymeTo remind myself howI tried so hardIn spite of the way you were mocking meActing like I was part of your propertyRemembering all the times you fought with meI’m surprised it got so (far)Things aren’t the way they were beforeYou wouldn’t even recognize me anymoreNot that you knew me back thenBut it all comes back to meIn the endYou kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apartWhat it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hardAnd got so farBut in the endIt doesn’t even matterI had to fallTo lose it allBut in the endIt doesn’t even matterI've put my trust in youPushed as far as I can goFor all thisThere’s only one thing you should knowI've put my trust in youPushed as far as I can goFor all thisThere’s only one thing you should knowI tried so hardAnd got so farBut in the endIt doesn’t even matterI had to fallTo lose it allBut in the endIt doesn’t even matter
6.) "How To Save A Life" The Fray
Step one you say we need to talkHe walks you say sit down it's just a talkHe smiles politely back at youYou stare politely right on throughSome sort of window to your rightAs he goes left and you stay rightBetween the lines of fear and blameAnd you begin to wonder why you cameWhere did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeLet him know that you know bestCause after all you do know bestTry to slip past his defenseWithout granting innocenceLay down a list of what is wrongThe things you've told him all alongAnd pray to God he hears youAnd pray to God he hears youWhere did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeAs he begins to raise his voiceYou lower yours and grant him one last choiceDrive until you lose the roadOr break with the ones you've followedHe will do one of two thingsHe will admit to everythingOr he'll say he's just not the sameAnd you'll begin to wonder why you cameWhere did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeHow to save a lifeHow to save a life
7.) "What I've Done" Linkin Park
In this farewellThere’s no bloodThere’s no alibi‘Cause I’ve drawn regretFrom the truthOf a thousand lies[Pre-Chorus:]So let mercy comeAnd wash awayWhat I’ve done[Chorus:]I'll face myselfTo cross out what i’ve becomeErase myselfAnd let go of what i’ve donePut to restWhat you thought of meWhile I clean this slateWith the hands of uncertainty[Pre-Chorus][Chorus]For what I’ve doneI start againAnd whatever pain may comeToday this endsI’m forgiving what I’ve done!!![Chorus]What I’ve doneForgiving what I’ve done
8.) “I Will Remember You” Sarah McLachlin
I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesRemember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got badHow clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sunWanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the oneI will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesI’m so tired but I can’t sleepStandin’ on the edge of something much too deepIt’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a wordWe are screaming inside, but we can’t be heardBut I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesI’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to looseClinging to a past that doesn’t let me chooseOnce there was a darkness, deep and endless nightYou gave me everything you had, oh you gave me lightAnd I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesAnd I will remember youWill you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesWeep not for the memories
9.) "Watch The Sky" Something Corporate
I'm lost at sea, The radio is jamming but they wont find me,I swear its for the best And then your frequency is pulling me in closerTil I'm home.And I've been up for daysI finally lost my mind And then I lost my way.I'm blistered but I'm better and I'm home.And I will crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.But I won't let this get me I will fight.You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky.This room's too small, it's only getting smallerI'm against the wall, I'm slowly getting taller here in Wonderland. This guilt feels so familiar and I'm home.And I will crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.But I won't let this get me I will fight.You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky,Somedays all I do is watch the sky.I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day.I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day.It's a deep sea on which I'm floating. Still I sink to think that i must...Crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.When you can't bear to carry me I'll fight.You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky,Today was a good day, today was a good day.
10.) "Waiting On The World To Change" John Mayer
Me and all my friends We're all misunderstood They say we stand for nothing and There's no way we ever could Now we see everything that's going wrong With the world and those who lead it We just feel like we don't have the means To rise above and beat it So we keep waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change It's hard to beat the system When we're standing at a distance So we keep waiting Waiting on the world to change Now if we had the power To bring our neighbors home from war They would have never missed a Christmas No more ribbons on their door And when you trust your television What you get is what you got Cause when they own the information, oh They can bend it all they want That's why we're waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change It's not that we don't care, We just know that the fight ain't fair So we keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change And we're still waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change One day our generation Is gonna rule the population So we keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change
Monday, October 13, 2008
"Dead Man Walking" project Metacognition
This project was one that I actually enjoyed doing. It brought out the creative side of me as well as the artistic. I take AP art as well, so I love these types of projects. I read the novel “Dead Man Walking” by Sister Helen Prejean for my independent reading book. I thought it was an outstanding book, but bad personal timing for myself. My friend had died Sunday morning so it was kind of hard to write think about a book related mostly towards death. I made it through it fine though.
First off, I chose to write a page as if I were actually there. I used page 39 because it showed the true nature of one of the murders, and what actually runs through the mind of a murderer. There was pretty simple language, but it got an intense point across. I loved how at the end of that page, it goes from the murderer telling his story, to the chaplain saying that all of the inmates will try to con you. That really caught my eye and was a main reason for me choosing this page. It was pretty easy for me to write as if I was there because I basically would have had about the same reaction that Sister Helen did. She was basically stunned and didn’t know what to say. I would guess that my reaction would have been pretty similar. I found that this writing process really put myself in the novel and got my emotions working. It was a very interesting way of writing.
Next, I created a soundtrack for my novel. Each song has a specific meaning and reason for me putting it there. My first song opens up with an angry tone and fast-paced music. This really showed the intense murder that occurred and the emotions felt by the victims’ parents. The emotions were also felt by Helen before she actually got to know Pat. I felt like that song really hit the nail on the head. My next song was chosen because it talks about taking care of someone. This is what Helen was doing for Pat. She was there to look out for him and make sure he was holding up okay. The beat of the song and more relaxed. This also goes foe my third song, it’s all about holding on when times get tough. My fourth and fifth songs were for after Pat died. Helen thought that all her work done was for nothing, and she missed him. The next two songs focus on the acceptance of the crimes committed and the chances of survival. If there was a way to keep them alive, Helen would try it. The eighth and ninth songs talk about remembering the ones lost and the relationships that were built. It also focuses on fighting and never giving up, which is one of the themes throughout the novel. The final song, talks about people doing whatever they can to change the world. This may include getting rid of the death penalty and other forms of murder and injustice. I thought it really had the same tone as the end of the novel.
Last I created a new cover for the novel. I wanted to go in a complete different direction that the one the original cover went in. The first cover was neat and a photograph. I wanted to create my cover as if an inmate made it. That is where the rips on the front come in. Inmates didn’t get many items that they could work with. That is why I went for the rugged, unorganized look. I used bold colors on the front and spine to create the strong and fearless side of then men. On the back, I decided to add a splash of color to the background to show the deeper part of the soul. Both inmates that Helen was an advisor to really had a soft side and indeed was humane. I decided to make the back and front show both sides of their personalities. I really thought that the contrasting sides would work really well together.
This whole project really got me thinking more and I feel that it was one that I enjoyed.
First off, I chose to write a page as if I were actually there. I used page 39 because it showed the true nature of one of the murders, and what actually runs through the mind of a murderer. There was pretty simple language, but it got an intense point across. I loved how at the end of that page, it goes from the murderer telling his story, to the chaplain saying that all of the inmates will try to con you. That really caught my eye and was a main reason for me choosing this page. It was pretty easy for me to write as if I was there because I basically would have had about the same reaction that Sister Helen did. She was basically stunned and didn’t know what to say. I would guess that my reaction would have been pretty similar. I found that this writing process really put myself in the novel and got my emotions working. It was a very interesting way of writing.
Next, I created a soundtrack for my novel. Each song has a specific meaning and reason for me putting it there. My first song opens up with an angry tone and fast-paced music. This really showed the intense murder that occurred and the emotions felt by the victims’ parents. The emotions were also felt by Helen before she actually got to know Pat. I felt like that song really hit the nail on the head. My next song was chosen because it talks about taking care of someone. This is what Helen was doing for Pat. She was there to look out for him and make sure he was holding up okay. The beat of the song and more relaxed. This also goes foe my third song, it’s all about holding on when times get tough. My fourth and fifth songs were for after Pat died. Helen thought that all her work done was for nothing, and she missed him. The next two songs focus on the acceptance of the crimes committed and the chances of survival. If there was a way to keep them alive, Helen would try it. The eighth and ninth songs talk about remembering the ones lost and the relationships that were built. It also focuses on fighting and never giving up, which is one of the themes throughout the novel. The final song, talks about people doing whatever they can to change the world. This may include getting rid of the death penalty and other forms of murder and injustice. I thought it really had the same tone as the end of the novel.
Last I created a new cover for the novel. I wanted to go in a complete different direction that the one the original cover went in. The first cover was neat and a photograph. I wanted to create my cover as if an inmate made it. That is where the rips on the front come in. Inmates didn’t get many items that they could work with. That is why I went for the rugged, unorganized look. I used bold colors on the front and spine to create the strong and fearless side of then men. On the back, I decided to add a splash of color to the background to show the deeper part of the soul. Both inmates that Helen was an advisor to really had a soft side and indeed was humane. I decided to make the back and front show both sides of their personalities. I really thought that the contrasting sides would work really well together.
This whole project really got me thinking more and I feel that it was one that I enjoyed.
Hemmingway Metacognition
This paper really was a bit difficult for my own writing style. Although aware that it will “broaden my horizons,” I struggled to find the hidden Hemmingway inside of me. Whenever I have written a short story of some type, I always seem to choose something related to Poe. He is my inspirational writer. I felt as if I would never be able to transfer from writing like Poe, to writing like Hemmingway. I then thought of an idea. I decided I wanted to somehow combine the two writers, while still following the real instructions behind the assignment.
I began by making a chart listing all of the similarities and differences between the two writing styles. I realized that although Poe is at times, very descriptive, he does it in a short way. Hemmingway also writes with short sentences. Although Poe doesn’t really add conversation into his work the way Hemmingway does, I knew that I could somehow insert it inside my writing. I came to the final conclusion that I would write a story similar to Poe’s “A Tell Tale Heart,” but write it in the style of Hemmingway. I was very unsure about how to go about doing this, but as I started writing it became more and more natural.
I really thought that my first draft was rather well written. Then we had peer evaluation in class. Both Cynthia and Kayla told me that I just needed some more back and fourth conversation throughout my writing. I got a bit nervous when I heard this. It was hard to have conversations when most characters in Poe’s writing tend to be anti-social. So I continued to think. As I was thinking, I figured out that in my head at that exact moment, I was arguing with myself trying to figure out what I could do. Then it hit me. I could have my main character, who remains unnamed, have conversations with not only the female character, but himself as well. This gave me the opportunity to imply the difficulty that readers may have when reading Hemmingway’s writing. It is sometimes confusing to figure out who is talking at the moment. Once I read the final draft, I knew that the style was much more similar to Hemmingway’s than it had been before. The fact that someone else read my paper and told me how to improve it really helped me in my thinking process.
I feel as if I do need more work on mocking the style of others, but I feel like this really was the first step. It was a large step as well. I really believe I was able to mock his style better than I would have been if I had not taken this class. Combining the two writers seemed almost impossible at first, but once I sat there and broke everything down it came pretty quickly to me. I was able to pick up on both Hemmingway and Poe’s strong points, and somehow create a connection between them. In the future, I hope to be able to take two completely different styles that have nothing in common, and somehow make a relationship between them. Mocking styles is very difficult for me, and I would really like to improve and be able to mock any style given to me.
This whole assignment opened up my way of thinking, and I feel as if I am thinking beneath the surface rather than above it like I used to.
I began by making a chart listing all of the similarities and differences between the two writing styles. I realized that although Poe is at times, very descriptive, he does it in a short way. Hemmingway also writes with short sentences. Although Poe doesn’t really add conversation into his work the way Hemmingway does, I knew that I could somehow insert it inside my writing. I came to the final conclusion that I would write a story similar to Poe’s “A Tell Tale Heart,” but write it in the style of Hemmingway. I was very unsure about how to go about doing this, but as I started writing it became more and more natural.
I really thought that my first draft was rather well written. Then we had peer evaluation in class. Both Cynthia and Kayla told me that I just needed some more back and fourth conversation throughout my writing. I got a bit nervous when I heard this. It was hard to have conversations when most characters in Poe’s writing tend to be anti-social. So I continued to think. As I was thinking, I figured out that in my head at that exact moment, I was arguing with myself trying to figure out what I could do. Then it hit me. I could have my main character, who remains unnamed, have conversations with not only the female character, but himself as well. This gave me the opportunity to imply the difficulty that readers may have when reading Hemmingway’s writing. It is sometimes confusing to figure out who is talking at the moment. Once I read the final draft, I knew that the style was much more similar to Hemmingway’s than it had been before. The fact that someone else read my paper and told me how to improve it really helped me in my thinking process.
I feel as if I do need more work on mocking the style of others, but I feel like this really was the first step. It was a large step as well. I really believe I was able to mock his style better than I would have been if I had not taken this class. Combining the two writers seemed almost impossible at first, but once I sat there and broke everything down it came pretty quickly to me. I was able to pick up on both Hemmingway and Poe’s strong points, and somehow create a connection between them. In the future, I hope to be able to take two completely different styles that have nothing in common, and somehow make a relationship between them. Mocking styles is very difficult for me, and I would really like to improve and be able to mock any style given to me.
This whole assignment opened up my way of thinking, and I feel as if I am thinking beneath the surface rather than above it like I used to.
Hemmingway, the next Poe?
Sometimes, I sit and wonder to myself why I feel the way that I do. Others ask the same question to me. The answer is questionable, but the questions remain unanswered. I sit in the darkest corner of my room; the walls seem to sweat with every thought that runs through my mind. I retrace my steps and replay the horrid memories of that night over and over again. Not once does the story change, or even affect me in any way. I fight with myself, should I believe it, or was it just a spectacle of my own imagination? The duality of my mind begins to take over, processing its own information inside my memory. Although I am unsure of what exactly happened that night, it went something to this nature.
It was a crisp winter’s night. The moon in Spain always seems just a bit brighter than anywhere else. I opened the window. The smell of alcohol flooded my nose. As I tucked my dear to sleep, I pondered, will we be forever in love? Her feelings seem to be fading by the day. Mine remain just as strong as they ever were. I would never let her leave. I gently kissed her forehead and proceeded to the door. She moved slightly, and the sound of the moving sheets ran through my head. It was the sound of leaves falling off a tree as the seasons change. I didn’t know what to think anymore. The sound became more and more irritating as it replayed in my mind. I did not want to see the leaves change colors, which was the sign of them to fall. I slowly proceeded up the creaking stairway to my bedroom. It was my own sanctuary. I reached into a drawer for my black masking tape. I ripped off seven large pieces and began taping them around the border of my only view to the outside. That single dreadful window. Next, I reached for the paint. It smelled of oil as I opened the cap. The color red, poured out of the container into my pan. I then began to stroke the color over my window. The sound of paint spreading eased my pain. No more would I see the leaves changing, no more would I catch a glimpse of that one leaf falling away from the tree. She would forever stay with me.
“No more falling, no more pain.” I repeated to myself.
“I can’t see them, but is it still happening?”
“No, it can’t be. Nothing will fall within this house.” The slightest of sounds caused a slight panic within my chest.
My mind followed every sound of the room, stalking each corner as if it were alive. That is when I lay my head down, and began to rest. My body lay still but my mind continued racing. No longer could I deal with this pain. In that one corner of my room laid a single leaf. Laying there it began to crumble. I heard it mumble “No more.” Right then I knew she would leave. This was the only way to prove my love. I went to her room, and reached my arms around her. She awoke in a panic not knowing what was occurring.
I repeated to her, “It will all be over soon, it shall be okay.”
“Why are you doing this?!” she cried.
“I love you, always. It will all be over soon.”
“Leaves will never fall, we will never crumble.”
“Leaves?! Crumble?! What are you talking about?!”
“Leave me alone!”
Her screams could be heard throughout the hallway. No one, except that crumbled leaf could hear her. I dragged her toward the bottom of the stairwell. There I fought with myself.
“Why, why am I doing this?”
“Will she leave?”
“Yes, of course she will. I need her.”
“Is this the only way? What else is there? Nothing.”
I continued to hit her until the floor matched my half painted window. There was still a pulse. Her heart, beating. The sound was not to be avoided. It continued to beat repeatedly.
“She will be mine”, I thought to myself.
“No matter what.”
I started breaking down the stairwell, making room for the beating of her heart. Inside is where she lay now, covered by the boards. She laid motionless, one in the same with the leaf. The noise is still heard. The crumbling, the beating. The noises very much alike. What belongs where? The question remains still.
I lay still, thinking to myself. The mirror catches a glimpse of light reflection from the window. Unpainted is one corner. The paint can was left emptied on the floor. With my shirt, I quietly walked to the bottom of the stairway. There I wiped the blood of my beloved. No more was the window left unpainted. The corner was now filled in. In the mirror is where I look now, often thinking of my life, as my eyes which were normal, now proceed to beat with the sound of her heart.
Sometimes, I sit and wonder to myself why I feel the way that I do. Maybe insanity takes over? Or maybe, in complete saneness, I shall continue my love for her through the beating of our now single heart.
I repeat to myself, “No more.”
“No more.”
“No more.”
It was a crisp winter’s night. The moon in Spain always seems just a bit brighter than anywhere else. I opened the window. The smell of alcohol flooded my nose. As I tucked my dear to sleep, I pondered, will we be forever in love? Her feelings seem to be fading by the day. Mine remain just as strong as they ever were. I would never let her leave. I gently kissed her forehead and proceeded to the door. She moved slightly, and the sound of the moving sheets ran through my head. It was the sound of leaves falling off a tree as the seasons change. I didn’t know what to think anymore. The sound became more and more irritating as it replayed in my mind. I did not want to see the leaves change colors, which was the sign of them to fall. I slowly proceeded up the creaking stairway to my bedroom. It was my own sanctuary. I reached into a drawer for my black masking tape. I ripped off seven large pieces and began taping them around the border of my only view to the outside. That single dreadful window. Next, I reached for the paint. It smelled of oil as I opened the cap. The color red, poured out of the container into my pan. I then began to stroke the color over my window. The sound of paint spreading eased my pain. No more would I see the leaves changing, no more would I catch a glimpse of that one leaf falling away from the tree. She would forever stay with me.
“No more falling, no more pain.” I repeated to myself.
“I can’t see them, but is it still happening?”
“No, it can’t be. Nothing will fall within this house.” The slightest of sounds caused a slight panic within my chest.
My mind followed every sound of the room, stalking each corner as if it were alive. That is when I lay my head down, and began to rest. My body lay still but my mind continued racing. No longer could I deal with this pain. In that one corner of my room laid a single leaf. Laying there it began to crumble. I heard it mumble “No more.” Right then I knew she would leave. This was the only way to prove my love. I went to her room, and reached my arms around her. She awoke in a panic not knowing what was occurring.
I repeated to her, “It will all be over soon, it shall be okay.”
“Why are you doing this?!” she cried.
“I love you, always. It will all be over soon.”
“Leaves will never fall, we will never crumble.”
“Leaves?! Crumble?! What are you talking about?!”
“Leave me alone!”
Her screams could be heard throughout the hallway. No one, except that crumbled leaf could hear her. I dragged her toward the bottom of the stairwell. There I fought with myself.
“Why, why am I doing this?”
“Will she leave?”
“Yes, of course she will. I need her.”
“Is this the only way? What else is there? Nothing.”
I continued to hit her until the floor matched my half painted window. There was still a pulse. Her heart, beating. The sound was not to be avoided. It continued to beat repeatedly.
“She will be mine”, I thought to myself.
“No matter what.”
I started breaking down the stairwell, making room for the beating of her heart. Inside is where she lay now, covered by the boards. She laid motionless, one in the same with the leaf. The noise is still heard. The crumbling, the beating. The noises very much alike. What belongs where? The question remains still.
I lay still, thinking to myself. The mirror catches a glimpse of light reflection from the window. Unpainted is one corner. The paint can was left emptied on the floor. With my shirt, I quietly walked to the bottom of the stairway. There I wiped the blood of my beloved. No more was the window left unpainted. The corner was now filled in. In the mirror is where I look now, often thinking of my life, as my eyes which were normal, now proceed to beat with the sound of her heart.
Sometimes, I sit and wonder to myself why I feel the way that I do. Maybe insanity takes over? Or maybe, in complete saneness, I shall continue my love for her through the beating of our now single heart.
I repeat to myself, “No more.”
“No more.”
“No more.”
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